‘Green Diary’ of the first wife of Lalitpur’s Deputy CMO | Lalitpur’s Deputy CMO’s first wife’s ‘Green Diary’: If she was ugly and illiterate, I would have tolerated it, what kind of love is this in which I am not valued – Banda News

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This is the pain of Lalitpur’s Deputy CMO Ashok Kumar’s first wife Shakun, who has married thrice, which she used to console herself by writing in her green diary. Shakun is no longer in this world, but it is her diary that has got her justice.

First know what is the whole matter

On Friday, the Banda fast track court sentenced the deputy CMO to 7 years of imprisonment after finding him guilty of harassing his first wife for dowry and abetting her suicide. It took 28 years for this verdict to come. The deputy CMO has two more wives, with whom he is in talks for divorce.

Let us tell you, Shakun got married to Deputy CMO Ashok Kumar in the year 1995. At that time, the Deputy CMO was posted in Banda. He was from Etawah. Shakun was from Mathura. At the time of marriage, she was in the first year of BA.

Nothing happened to her as she had imagined about her life after marriage. She used to wait for months to spend some time with her husband but still the wait would not end. And in this sorrow, she hanged herself after 1 year of marriage.

After the death of his sister, brother retired commissioner Kunwar Pal Singh had filed a case against deputy CMO Ashok for dowry harassment and inciting suicide. There were 5 main witnesses in this case. Shakun’s green diary was the main one.

This is Deputy CMO Ashok Kumar. Banda court has sentenced him to 7 years imprisonment.

Dainik Bhaskar read Shakun’s “Green Diary”

Shakun was very lonely after marriage. She used to stay alone at home all the time. Her husband was not with her even though he was with her. So to pass her time, she used to write a diary. She used to write everything that happened to her every day in the diary.

to her diary Daily newspaper read it. In which it is clear that Shakun wanted her husband’s support, whereas for Deputy CMO Ashok she was nothing.

Now read some special things from Shakun’s diary-

It is written on page number-1 of the diary-

My tears make no difference to them

Today I am feeling heavy hearted… I was thinking of sending a letter to Bhaiya to tell him everything… but he read the letter before I could send it. Today his way of getting angry was completely different. He was picking up all the household items and throwing them. My condition was such that I was just lying on the bed and looking at him.

Listening to his voice, I felt as if my head would burst with pain. My pain and tears make no difference to him. It is not that he does not understand anything but even then I don’t know how he becomes so harsh. His words leave wounds in my heart which take a long time to heal.

It is written on page number-2 of the diary-

I miss my home and my brother a lot

Ever since I got married and came to this house, I am able to be happy only for 2 days. After that something happens and my happiness and peace is taken away. I get bored of talking to the walls all day long. When he comes, I think of sitting with him and talking to him, but he scolds me and drives me away.

They don’t let me sit near them. This is not the first time this has happened to me. I thought I would live well after coming back from Etawah but nothing happened. Sometimes I miss home a lot, I miss my brother a lot.

Diary page number-3

If I was ugly and illiterate I would have tolerated it

Whenever I have told my problems to Bhaiya, he would get more worried. He would not eat until he solved my problem. Now I don’t even say anything to him. Now only I and the walls of this house know about my problems. Can’t he answer my questions correctly? He can satisfy my curiosity by giving the correct answer.

But everything turns out the other way. I become more sad after talking to them. If I was ugly and illiterate, I would have tolerated all this but it is difficult to tolerate all this without any fault. I have changed myself a lot but there is a limit to change. Is there no value for my feelings? My eyes are always filled with tears.

Diary page number-4

They only like superficial relationships

All the people who had gone to that function have returned in the morning but he has not come. He knows that I am alone at home but still it does not matter to him. He only likes superficial relationships.

They have nothing to do with real relationships. They never remember their own brother-in-law. They never say a word for him. They are just stuck in selfish relationships. It seems that the whole of Baberu belongs to them. Nothing gets done here without them.

It is written on page number-5-

If I say too much then he starts getting angry

There is so much mental stress, I think of talking to him but he always postpones it. When I tried to talk to him at night, he said go to sleep, don’t stay awake for long. If I talk too much, then he starts getting angry. I don’t know why he thinks the relationship between husband and wife is bad? One thing is certain that my problems will not end even if I am not here or die. Maybe he has not been able to be with me as much as he should have been.

Diary page number-6

He stayed at home the whole day today

This morning the neighbor came and said, Bhabhi, we don’t have to go to the temple, today is Shivaratri. This is the first time in so many years that I forgot Shivaratri. Today he also stayed at home the whole day. I spent the whole day looking at him. Then at night he went to Kanpur and I was alone again.

I don’t like loneliness at all but still I don’t feel like meeting anyone. I think what if I accidentally say something to someone… He tells me, I get very bored at home, I will bring carrom. Tell me you don’t have time to talk to me but you have time to play carrom.

Diary page number-10

We never sit together for 5 minutes and talk lovingly

Today he asked me to go to the market with Dharmendra. He knows that I don’t like him, couldn’t he have come with me? Now I get to know about him from his friends. He talks to them with such a smile and always scolds us. I feel very sad.

Thinking about having to go with that Dharmendra gave me a headache. I don’t feel like going with him at all. But I can’t refuse either. He left the money for the market on the table and went away. Couldn’t he have given the money in my hand? These things are very small but they bother me.

Sometimes he doesn’t sit with me for 5 minutes and talk lovingly. He never looks up. He talks to everyone with a smile, he agrees to everyone’s demands but if I say something twice his mood gets spoiled. I don’t know why but today evening he sent me with Sharma. Maybe he understood that I don’t want to go with Dharmendra.

It is written on page number- 12-

I’ll die just like that

Today I came to know one thing about them, I wish I had not known it. All this was happening right in front of me. I could understand how so much change happened overnight. Whatever they were doing would have come to light in 2-4 years.

But what should I do now? I am tired of crying. God, I wish I had died if I had lived such a life. Is this even a life? He went away from me like this. Now it seems that some disease will surround me or I will die like this.

Page number- 14 and 15

I don’t care at all

I will not get his love. The one for whom I have devoted my whole life, today he is not affected by my laughter and tears. He does not care about me at all. My heart is getting very heavy. He did not read even one of the letters I had written to him from Mathura. Is anyone so busy? I also found a girl’s letter from him, in which very bad things were written.

Diary page numbers- 16, 17 and 18

I can’t change my fate

Today is Holi, I have forbidden everyone from applying colours on me. What is the use of these false colours. I was alone even on such a big festival. Sometimes I get very angry. Then I think, I will always follow my duties. I will not prove wrong the values ​​that my parents have given me. I cannot change my fate. Nor the lines on my palms.

Page number-19

where does the doctor have leave

Today I have received a letter from home. Papa’s blood pressure is high. In such a situation, one of us should be with him. But how can I go, the doctor doesn’t have time off. Another thing is that the ring that I was wearing for the last one year is not visible for the last 4-5 days. I don’t know where it is, when I asked, he said that it must have fallen somewhere. But it has never fallen anywhere before.

Page number- 20 and 21

I have a guest coming to my house soon

I think that soon a small guest should come to our house. Who will always stay with me. His arrival will end my loneliness. My colorless life will be filled with colors. The whole day will be spent with him. I don’t know why at night he started insisting me to drink milk. I don’t like milk at all. Earlier if he would ask me to, I would drink it, now if he asks me to do so suddenly, I will vomit.

Page number- 22, 23 and 24

After a few days, only my skeleton will be left

They were talking at night and in the morning they became like I am a stranger to them. Before marriage, my family members used to scold me a lot that do you keep singing songs all the time but now not even a single song comes out of my mouth. It seems as if happiness has gone far away from me. I don’t feel like talking to anyone. Now even the expressions on my face cannot be hidden.

My weight has reduced by 7 kg. After a few days, only a skeleton will remain. They ask me why do you close the door of the house so early. Now who will explain to them that if someone from outside comes and starts talking, what will I say. Girls who are newly married are so happy, they always keep smiling and just look at me.

Now I have no desire left. It seems everything is over. The campus people tell them how I live but it still doesn’t matter to them. After marriage, my studies are also ruined, I don’t know what will happen to me?

Page number- 25

I don’t know what they get by making us cry

I don’t know what he gets by making me cry. He always scolds me. Can a person always be wrong? When I asked him about the ring, he abused me. I don’t know what all he started saying to me.

My mind stops working after listening to them. You were writing a letter for Papa, couldn’t you read it for me? If I ask for food, you get abused. It would be better if they send me back to my home. At least I will be able to breathe in peace.

Page number- 26 and 27

If you didn’t like me you wouldn’t have married me

If you didn’t like me, you wouldn’t have married me… Why do you taunt me all the time. After marriage, every girl’s home becomes her husband’s home. But apart from all this, there is one more thing, which is called attachment.

But I cannot see that. I can only see my hands empty. I write this diary secretly from him but he reads it every day but still does not change it. I don’t know for what crime he is punishing me.

Also read this news related to this news-

7 years jail for deputy CMO who had three wives: Banda court pronounced the sentence after 28 years; secret revealed by ‘green diary’

Lalitpur’s Deputy CMO Ashok Kumar has been sentenced to 7 years of imprisonment by Banda Court. The court held him guilty of harassing his first wife for dowry and inciting her to commit suicide. After 28 years in the case, on Friday evening, Fast Track Court Judge Pallavi Prakash sentenced the Deputy CMO. A fine of Rs 25,000 has also been imposed. Read full news here