Happy New Yarn: Netas make New Year resolutions that weren’t

PM Narendra Modi: I’ve already inaugurated many tall statues from Sardar Patel to Deendayal Upadhyaya and opened many buildings named after our iconic leaders. In 2021 I resolve that a statue is built for your very own pradhan sevak.

Rahul Gandhi: My resolution is to spend more time on Twitter and engage 24×7, 365 days a year in virtual debates on India’s imaginary democracy

Sonia Gandhi: Since I’m interim Congress president and interim chairperson of the UPA, I resolve that I will finally give up my posts but in the interim will continue to discharge my responsibilities as interim head, while waiting for my son to make up his mind.

Mamata Banerjee: I resolve to give “Chaddha Nadda Fadda Badda Gadda” lessons in Bengali culture. They will all have to learn to sing Rabindra Sangeet if they want to enter my Bengal.

Amit Shah: I resolve that every state government, every district body, municipal body, local body which is not ruled by BJP will be toppled in 2021 by the relentless agency of the agencies … oops … I mean, the agency of people.

Shashi Tharoor: The mainsprings of vituperative nationalism invariably collide with representative democracy and conflate the idea of India with an egregious, hyperbolic, atavistic chiaroscuro of primitive essentialist tribalist impulses. For more, read my latest book.

Asaduddin Owaisi: I don’t like to be called a votebank politician but I resolve to ensure that in whichever corner of India there is a Muslim vote, they can bank on me to be their leader.

Sharad Pawar: From exercising remote control in Maharashtra politics I now resolve to become a kingmaker in Delhi: From real estate to realpolitik.

Uddhav Thackeray: I resolve to fight Covid more aggressively than before. I will lift curfews, reimpose curfews, implement night curfew, withdraw day curfew, allow parties, not allow parties, lift travel restrictions then re-impose them in a never-ending cycle.

Speaker Om Birla: I’ve already set the record in 2020 as the year that saw the fewest sessions of Parliament. Next year I resolve to hold more sessions only if opposition MPs wear masks and remain completely silent. Only Treasury benches can speak.

All in unison: Happy New Yarn … er Year …



This article is intended to bring a smile to your face. Any connection to events and characters in real life is coincidental.



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