Kaun banega cokepati? Bachchan, Bollywood and NCB. Who’s the biggest B of all?


India’s mega quiz show, KBC, opened its 12th season this Monday. The NCB multi-starrer quiz show has been open season for several weeks now. Kaun Banega Crorepati is high on hoopla. The Narcotics Control Bureau has been putting our heroines through hoops; it seems to be getting quite a high itself as it sniffs them out, snorts at their responses and smacks them down. Despite the razzmatazz, KBC has some substance. The NCB’s theme is substance abuse; sober watchers feel there’s little of one and a lot of the other.

That said it is silly to keep carping about the NCB diverting attention from CoV, GDP, LAC, etc. Isn’t the Narc Bureau’s current pot-boiler of and for entertainment. And the whole purpose of entertainment is to provide escape, no? Bollywood is based on that only. The strategy originated in Imperial Rome: if the masses don’t have bread, give them the circus. Actually, long before the arrival of NCB as content provider, our news channels were already the Coliseum, throwing some poor ‘Christian’ to the lions every night. So the jackpot question is : KBC or NCB, which will be the bigger Weapon of Mass Distraction?

Right from its dramatic re-entry into televsion, KBC has taken direct panga with the proxy channels of the NCB.  Its two promo lines reach out to the butcher as well as the bakras.  Bachchan’s baritone ‘Vishwas Hai to Adey Raho’ could be the stick-it-out call to both NCB and its star parade. The second is only for the beleaguered actors, ‘Setback ka Jawab Comeback.’  Big B’s very first question was on Sushant Singh Rajput’s last film. Its answer was ‘Dil Bechara’, fitting the bureau’s scapegoat No 1 to a Chakrabor-‘T’.

While NCB is tasked with unmasking Bollywood, everyone on the KBC sets follows the rules of cover-up. In fact, Big B’s Avengers-style face-shield could be adopted by the Big Inquisitor for greater intimidation. In turn, Amit-ji could replace his ‘Fastest Finger’ round’ with his rival’s ‘Fastest Finger Pointing’. Kaun Banega’s hand-picked participants are allowed to ‘Ask the Expert’. Those picked up by the bureau are not; the griller himself doesn’t seem to have availed of this offer.

Big B sets multiple-choice questions, and feeds the answer to the ‘Computer Ji’ up front. The deciding ‘Ji’ of the NCB’s quizzing is invisible. More to the point, regardless of the correctness of the answer, this show host summarily declares, ‘Lock kiya jaye!’

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Alec Smart said: “Will American voters say, ‘We don’t care Trumppence for this pair.’?”

DISCLAIMER : This article is intended to bring a smile to your face. Any connection to events and characters in real life is coincidental.

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