The farmers’ movement has found its Momala. She is sequinned, stilettoed, and has an operatic moral compass. When Rihanna, she of over 100 million followers worldwide, tweeted, “Why aren’t we talking about this?! #FarmersProtest,” that was impactful enough, taking the Indian farmers to so many places they had never gone before. But all credit also to our resident ‘revolver rani’, Kangana Ranaut, who amplified the original tweet with lots of figmental and smutty compost, including the sensational claim that the protests are a plot to make India “a Chinese colony much like USA.” Lols.
If she pays attention to this cockeyed theory, the chilled Barbadian would likely dismiss it with a grin, “Love the way you lie.” But desi twitterati won’t cool it. After all, candy crush is nothing to celebrity crush, by which you now carve your likes, dislikes, selfies, shelfies, bedrooms, bathrooms, really the list is unending. Your idol shapes your life. Like the Rihanna song goes, “You can stand under my umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh, eh,” the idol promises. Don’t think for yourself, let the idol tell you what to think. Budget in one soundbite, policy in a tweet, and philosophy reduced to meme.
There is a deep intolerance inherent in such barricades of the mind. Right-wing trolls have unleashed a racist, sexist, communal frenzy against Rihanna. There is reductiveness on the other side too, although nowhere near as foul and vomitty, where the popstar has been overnight elevated into Khaleesi, dragon mother safeguarding India’s farmers. And India’s foreign ministry has done itself no favours by thin-skinnedly wading into this flamefest. To get an educated and balanced perspective on farm reforms, triggersome Twitter is the wrong place. It’s where you go to put yourself “four, five seconds from wildin.”
This article is intended to bring a smile to your face. Any connection to events and characters in real life is coincidental.
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