Rising above fear and helplessness



Pooja Bedi

Pooja Bedi represents the uninhibited, strong willed, personally and professionally successful modern Indian woman who has donned many hats. Her prolific career spans the worl
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How do you Let go!!!! How on earth can people simply let go of the pain, fear, anxiety, financial stress and other lockdown related woes? Covid isn’t going away and it seems to have successfully mutated from cold weather to warm weather and those taking vaccines, even two doses, are also getting bad attacks of the virus. So if Covid is here to stay and the vaccines are no guarantee, and lockdowns seem imminent with wave after wave, then where is the respite? Well, the first thing to note and focus on is the fact that the cycle of helplessness and fear is what paralyses you. There are options, there are always options, but there it requires you to change the way you react and respond to change. Contrary to what you believe, your future is in your hands and you can change it to suit the new reality you wish for you and your family. You can sell the jewellery that lies in your safe and rarely gets worn and use the money to buy a vehicle so you can travel instead of relying on public transport which has issues of long lines, limited passengers, social distancing and curfew hours.

You can sell your home in the city and simply relocate to a smaller town and have a much better quality of life, perhaps even start a business and generate employment for locals. I know of many friends who have bought into or rented long term in Goa, Pune, Himachal Pradesh and some have gone to smaller towns in other states with the intention of starting a small tea plantation or growing organic crops. I know of many techies who have moved to any location that offers low rent, good wifi and quality of life. This could be Rishikesh, Goa or places on the outskirts of bigger cities where they have the outdoors, beaches, mountains and a sense of freedom. I know groups of friends who have moved together in order to become support systems to each other. Life changes, and it’s always for you to decide in which direction. Most importantly, is the simple art of letting go of what you thought you once wanted and where you were headed and to allow yourself to accept that a change of direction, a change of pace and a change of headspace is a wonderful way to take your life from strength to strength. Yes, your friends, your job, your locality, your current favourite haunts will soon morph into new ones. It’s all up to you. How much longer do you want to endure the current scenario? When is the time to make the move forward? How do you empower yourself and rise from this state of helplessness and disenchantment? Well, it starts with the decision to do so.

1. I have been in a relationship for quite a while now. The strange thing is that we keep breaking off and keep going back to each other. Our last breakup however was a big one and we have not spoken for a month. I am already missing him. I really want to get back. What should I do?

Ask yourself if the reasons for the break-up have been resolved. If not, then you’re only wishing back more of the same into your life. Familiarity and an attitude of “known devil is better than an unknown devil” is not a constructive one. You should want a life partner who is meant to complement your journey, not just fill space or because of attachment.

2.Lately I have been pretty much depressed about things going on in my life (career oriented). I started sharing all my negative feelings with my girlfriend. This now is making her feel bad and she is going through pain as she cannot see me in this condition. Should I stop sharing the feelings with her?

It’s said sharing is caring and it’s important to share whatever impacts you negatively, while also making sure that there is also an element of gratitude and appreciation expressed for what is right. This is crucial because not only will it make the energy of the relationship more balanced, but it will additionally affect your mental state positively, as well as lead to better decisions, better handling and better outcomes.

3. I am a 28-year-old woman living in a joint family and since the past few months, my neighbour has been trying to hit on me. Despite clearly telling him that I’m not interested, he continued to bother me, after which I told my family members, who complained to his family. Now, he has started spreading vicious rumours about me along with encouragement from his family. Several society members have told us what filth he has said and we are very stressed about it because my family is fixing my alliance. How should we tackle this situation?

Send him a legal notice outlining his sexual misbehaviour and the slander subsequent to confrontation. That way not only will he realise the deep trouble he can get into, but the document is evidence to show any concerned person of your plight and reality of situation in eventuality that the gossip gets out of hand.

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Disclaimer

Views expressed above are the author’s own.



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