The 8-word mantra that will transform your relationship’s struggles – Times of India

Fights. Arguments. Chaos. All these words resonate in your mind when you and your partner start picking little spats with each other. To be honest, we all know, little differences turn into loud disputes that turn ugly over time. And love no longer acts as a saviour. Couples often find it hard to navigate through such times because relationships are expected to be all love and flowers, not spats and squabbles. Tempers soar and the need to yell opinions increases leaving couples dismayed; unable to apprehend whether their relationship is all fights and misunderstanding or is love even in the game.

When people suggest that fights are indeed very healthy for a relationship, couples going through a rough patch are left pondering whether their relationship is also healthy. Going a stage higher by defeating all odds can do wonders for your relationship, especially if you and your partner have vowed to stay together despite all odds. The rough trenches in your relationship are mostly defined by past mistakes and fights that have already occurred.

The past becomes sacrosanct.

You’ll notice this frequent habit while fighting, “You did this the last time as well! I’m so fed up!” The habit of referring to the past doesn’t only happen with you, but with millions of other couples who dwell in past differences. Bringing up the past is a common thing we all do and include in our current arguments, unaware of the deep-rooted harm it is causing both your mindsets. However, one will want to argue that referring to the past is automatic, as the brain tends to grasp matters that have once occurred or are familiar.

However, have you considered letting go of your past completely? I know it sounds difficult, but it can be just the elixir you need for your relationship. Past grudges threaten a relationship; moreover, you can’t really do anything about it. Accept it, you can’t solve the problems of the past. Once it is over and in the past, that time doesn’t come back. You can’t drag the problems you have faced in the past.

‘You can’t change the problems in the past’

This mantra is exceptionally true. No matter how much you focus on the future and drive your mindset towards futuristic opinions on relationships, you can’t help but get dragged back to the past. If you’ve hurt your partner or vice versa, let go of the grudges and take full responsibility for what you have done or said. What you fight about in the present should be your only matter of concern. Acknowledging the past mistakes in the past should be necessary to avoid repeating similar mistakes in the present and future. Once, you accept this mantra, your relationships will take a positive turn, and both of you will be able to respect and understand each other more. Fights will remain, but rest assured, it will never grow into chaos. Write it on stone: Past doesn’t matter, it won’t change ever. You can only change the present.


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