Vaccing and Whining: Why the current vaccine war is like just another day in politics


This was to be a declaration of freedom, telling Covid to Quit India, and declaring ‘Swavaccine is my birthright and I shall have it.’ But just when PM-ji proudly proclaimed that the world will look up to us for winning this war against the foreign virus with Made in Bharat doses, Atmanirbhar began to sound like atmahatya. An unseemly battle has broken out over the unseemly haste in coopting the 100% desi Covaxin. Call it ‘vaccine hyper-nationalism’. A for Adar is pitted against B for Biotech; storied scientists clash by night, with TV anchors spurring them on to breach the line of all control. Of course, politicians are living up to their professional messpertise, and are playing politics. This time, they have so much in common with vaccines as well as the controversy.

Trials. In Phase 1, safety against political shenanigans is always a concern. In fact, adverse effects following election are guaranteed regardless of which party’s dose has been administered. Phase 2 is about efficacy. We’d be lucky to get 50% of it from our MPs and MLAs, no matter how many promises they manufactured when telling us to go for them. As for Phase 3’s scalability, only BJP has injected itself into the required mass levels. But, as in the current vaccine controversy, opponents say that the numbers have been fudged.

Much of the present vax war is over whether immunogenicity can be equated with efficacy. No big data is needed to prove that whatever the shortfall in the latter, politicians display a robust immune response to all allegations.

Mutant strain. The stress caused by dissenters displaying spikes of their own.

Transparency. This is as essential for vaccine data as it is for a sexy blouse. But the powers-that-be seem to have skirted it in the rush to prove Bharatiya prowess. Critics see through this.

Emergency use authorisation. The 1975 Emergency is still a hot potato, and no neta who knows his onions will officially authorise its use. However, all data proves that it is de facto in operation. Emergency use of the vaccine is to save a critical patient; administering unofficial emergency kills the most patient democracy.

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Alec Smart said: “So the SC has approved the Central Blister”

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Disclaimer

This article is intended to bring a smile to your face. Any connection to events and characters in real life is coincidental.



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