The wonderful world of remote working. Lawyer Rod Ponton fetches up on the split screen in the New York 394th district court’s virtual case as a cat because he didn’t remove the Zoom filter and the pretty kitty is a tough one to get rid of even though it is a decade old gimmick. Republican Congressman Tom Emmer zoomed into a House committee meeting upside down. We all know the travails of getting this act together and synching audio and coming to terms with mute and unmute and entering the chat room or exiting it.
But nothing beats the honesty of my outspoken friends who live with their married son and his wife and kids and the dog and a cat and a nanny and a part time cook. The apple of their eye is a high flying executive in corporate country and his boss is one of those seven day a week work freaks and the Zoom calls can go on for hours frosting the family into silent statues as daddy works.
So one day as the son has shushed everyone into surrender and is online with the boss he is told there is far too much ambient noise and can’t he find a working corner and is that the TV on? This sort of holding at gunpoint goes on for a few days and then one fine morning grandma finds herself alone on screen with her son’s boss and she says oh good, I need to have a word with you, yes, I am the mother and I just want you to know that contrary to the general belief that we all live in five bedroom homes with an east wing and a study, most of us live in two rooms and we cannot be held at ransom because you wish to babble on. And not just that, but you are intruding into our home and you show no respect for our privacy. The kids cannot watch TV, the pressure cooker cannot whistle, I cannot switch on any gadget, we cannot pull the flush and if the doorbell rings my son blows a gasket.
The boss says sorry but it is the new normal, we have no choice. Yes you do, she battles on, you just accept the background noises, you accept this is our home, too, everyone is forgetting that aspect, new normal be damned. Do you know how it has affected us, she says, let me tell you, my son has taken the bathroom wall and covered it with a whiteboard and memos and a painting so it looks like an office space and that’s where I am now speaking to you.
Why would he do that? She grunts: in case the dog barks.
This article is intended to bring a smile to your face. Any connection to events and characters in real life is coincidental.
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